REALLY ONLY A LIUTENANT

gamefreaksnz: Videogames Are Drugs

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:37:57 -0400

Videogames Are Drugs

comedycentral: This was magical. If you ever needed a reason to...

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:36:44 -0400

This was magical.

If you ever needed a reason to follow @TheDailyShow, this is it.

Here’s the original segment, in case you missed it.

Photo

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:34:39 -0400

operameister: thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble: agentgreenfishy: poselikeateam: fuck-i-just: Next...

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:33:45 -0400

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

pastelmorgue: This is a children’s TV show.

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:32:02 -0400

pastelmorgue:

This is a children’s TV show.

midnightquxxn: I can imagine something like this eventually...

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:30:56 -0400

midnightquxxn:

I can imagine something like this eventually happening with sylveon, since her ribbons be flowing all over the place.
I thought this looked really cool transparent instand of a plain white background.

datcatwhatcameback: inachisasuke: jacobtheloofah: nkfr: oolon...

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:30:02 -0400

datcatwhatcameback:

inachisasuke:

jacobtheloofah:

nkfr:

oolongearlgrey:

rozurizo:

stegomastodon:

darktemplarfromhell:

That….is sick

For the person who wants to kill the shit out of somebody.

The knife is in case I don’t kill you with the six bullets first.

the Apache Revolver, ladies and gentlemen

What the shit?

this is my headcanon for spades slick’s favourite weapon

GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!

awkward-inclined: depression-and-movies: First food gifset,...

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:29:05 -0400

awkward-inclined:

depression-and-movies:

First food gifset, something I’d like to try: Balloon Chocolate Bowls (x)

LIFE IS WONDERFUL

farx: Money = Immunity

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:28:34 -0400

farx:

Money = Immunity

Photo

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:26:39 -0400

niknak79: This is What Happens When You Put Corn on the Cob in...

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:24:39 -0400

niknak79:

This is What Happens When You Put Corn on the Cob in the Microwave

itsvondell: theonion: Family Watching Movie White-Knuckles It...

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:24:18 -0400

itsvondell:

theonion:

Family Watching Movie White-Knuckles It Through Unexpected Sex Scene: Full Report

BETHEL PARK, PA—A routine Schaeffer family movie night took a sudden and deeply uncomfortable turn Thursday when the family of four was forced to white-knuckle its way through an unanticipated sex scene, household sources confirmed.

According to reports, an intense awkwardness descended upon the Schaeffers’ living room when, approximately 75 minutes into a PG-13 action-adventure thriller they had been enjoying, a brief scene of sexual content appeared, leaving the parents and their two school-age children with no choice but to sit there together and plow through it.

“Ahem…” said father Stan Schaeffer, 46, clearing his throat after the film’s hero pulled his love interest in close for a long, tender kiss, which reportedly made the family members agonizingly aware of each other’s breathing and proximity, abruptly ending the carefree mood of what had until then been a relaxing evening. “Um.”

“Hmm,” he added, almost inaudibly, gritting his teeth and diverting his glance from the screen for a moment.

Sources said the awkward experience was made even more unbearable by the fact that the family had been exchanging casual remarks throughout the film, but then fell completely quiet once it became clear the two characters on their television were about to have sex. Though the silence was reportedly grueling, the Schaeffers nonetheless hunkered down, gripped their seats tightly, and showed no outward acknowledgement of the onscreen intimacy.

The scene, which lasted 19 seconds, is reported to have felt much, much longer.

As soon as the romantic sequence began, the family members, though at ease and comfortable just moments before, appeared to become acutely aware of their physical postures, self-consciously freezing themselves into stiff, uncomfortable positions while waiting anxiously for the scene to end.

Accounts have confirmed that around the 11-second mark, Noah Schaeffer, 12, considered making a joke about the action-packed movie’s amorous turn, but ultimately decided to remain quiet, reasoning that an attempt to relieve the tension with humor would likely backfire.

Similarly, sources said, 45-year-old Diane Schaeffer considered interrupting and asking her kids if they would like a snack, but then realized that making any sound or movement at all would only serve to draw attention to the family’s embarrassment, thereby making it even worse.

According to sources, as the film’s hero removed the woman’s shirt so that she was standing before him in nothing but a bra, Sophie Schaeffer, 15, exchanged a pained glance with her brother—the only instance of eye contact noted through the entire viewing of the sex scene.

At one point, when the camera began to cut away from the passionate embrace, reports indicate the family members felt a brief sense of relief, but their nerve-wracking agony returned immediately when the scene’s next shot revealed the couple was now on a bed and engaged in intercourse beneath its sheets.

As the characters’ lovemaking grew increasingly urgent, the Schaeffers were reportedly buckling down and hanging on tight, steeling themselves with the knowledge that this was a PG-13 movie and that its adult content had to be—just had to be—over any second now.

The family was last seen letting out deep sighs of relief as the depiction of intimacy was interrupted by a barrage of gunfire and the film’s villains crashing through the bedroom window, mercifully returning the story to a scene of graphic violence.

muslimmilf: screaming

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:20:56 -0400

muslimmilf:

screaming

miclift: zillatamer: unimpressedcats: food? no… friend I...

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:20:29 -0400

miclift:

zillatamer:

unimpressedcats:

food? no… friend

I like how the hamster’s fear response is to just eat faster like

If I’m going to die, it should be with a full stomach.

^HAHAHAHAH

waifuwaifuflutterass: Me in high school.

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:19:35 -0400

waifuwaifuflutterass:

Me in high school.

rhydonmyhardon: me makin my way to shag yo girl

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:19:27 -0400

rhydonmyhardon:

me makin my way to shag yo girl

zestyoranges:

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:12:28 -0400

zestyoranges:

jetgreguar: adriofthedead: theshitpeopletweet: commodore-amiga...

Thu, 02 May 2013 23:29:46 -0400

jetgreguar:

adriofthedead:

theshitpeopletweet:

commodore-amiga:

nightlifecommando:

I’m done with this planet

It’s true: The guy behind Keyboard Cat, as well as the creator of Nyan Cat, are suing Warner Bros (publisher) and 5th Cell (developers).

Although since they’re memes I doubt they’d get very far. At all.

This will never be NOT funny at all.

Except PRGuitarman copyrighted the gif of Nyan Cat well before it went viral

To think that people are somehow disqualified from getting compensation that’s legally and rightfully theirs for their respective IPs just because “they’re memes” is really fucking stupid and it’s obvious that you have absolutely no grasp on how copyright works

grow the fuck up

seriously there’s nothing more grating about this than people using the ITS A MEME argument like this somehow nullifies copyright law

if this were anybody else’s creative property that wasn’t a meme, people would be all sorts of fucked up and angry over it being used for profit unfairly

i never in my life thought i would dedicate this much time and thought to nyan cat/keyboard cat but its really embarrassing to see people just completely ignore the fact that a creator has the right to defend their copyright Just Because Its A Meme

sorry if this is beating a dead horse (even though this is still a fresh topic) but i’m really tired of people rolling their eyes and being shitty about a creator doing exactly what somebody who has had their copyright protected IP breached unfairly should/would do

Photo

Thu, 02 May 2013 23:09:45 -0400

box-of-kittens: thelilnan: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE OKAY AJAX SOAP THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN...

Thu, 02 May 2013 23:09:42 -0400

box-of-kittens:

thelilnan:

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

OKAY

AJAX SOAP

THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”

AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT

AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH

AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE

YOU CLEVER BITCH